Fifteen bathrooms, eleven bedrooms, plus a two-bedroom flat for overflow guests. Also a bowling alley and a 130-metre waterslide. Priorities.

One room. The listing suggests adding a wall and calling it a bedroom. €275,000, wall not included.

Twenty-six square metres, fully renovated. €6,923 a square metre. The whole apartment fits in one photo.

Listed as a garage. €950,000 buys a diesel laboratory and an injector-testing rig. Upstairs: a sauna and a billiards table. The parking is incidental.

€119,000 for fourteen square metres. No columns, the listing notes, twice. Puente Romano next door is doing the heavy lifting.

Eleven square metres. Sea view, golf course view, and pool access, the listing says. For a car.

A pool bar. A yoga space. Seven bedrooms, seven bathrooms. Move-in ready since last summer, if anyone's asked.

Twelve bathrooms, nine bedrooms. Also needs renovation. €10.5 million buys the plumbing, evidently, not the finish.

'Cozy studio.' Their word. €299,000, forty square metres, sea views mentioned twice.

Was €22.5 million in 2024. Marked down three times since. Now €14.9 million, still on the market.